By: Vane Villava
Day 1
When they told me I was going to Las Vegas I couldn’t stop thinking about the millionaire Arab I was about to meet, spoiler– I didn’t meet any Arabs, but I did meet Oswaldo Sánchez… Stay to find out how hahaha.
It took me approximately 4 hours to get to this wonderful and literally incredible city, my treacherous mind only led me to catastrophic places where at passport control they would discover something that I didn’t even know about myself and I would never set foot in the USA again in my life or I would go on airport alert.
When I left the airport I thought it would be a simple matter to take an Uber and get to the hotel, like in Mexico City… mistake! If it’s your first time in Las Vegas you should know that Ubers are only taken in a specific place strategically placed in a hidden corner, where the goal is that you can never take an Uber and never get to your destination and waste your days and… die Muajajaja! Besides, at times I had no signal, but they were able to save me by ordering it for me.
Finally after somersaults, tears and sweat I arrived at my hotel Mandalay Bay Resort and CasinoWhen I saw that the facilities were golden in color, I put on perfume again so they wouldn’t think I was homeless or something. They gave me my room and Wow! How nice, how comfortable, how clean, it had a bathtub awww.
I wanted to be able to see the hotel but if I did that my 4 days would be up (it’s huge) it could be another city, a mini veguitas or something like that, so I preferred to go out to eat. Going out is absolutely allIf you like walking it’s perfect, if you’re not a walker you can always take an Uber (it’s easy to get one here) and you’re about 7 minutes from almost anywhere.
The first place we visited was Proper Eats Food Hall at Aria Resort & Casino, honestly, we were starving, we ate a pizzotota with chips, the slices there are jumbo, one slice for 4 and a whole pizza for about 150 approximately hahaha, I’m exaggerating, the service was excellent, I just saw the soda arrive over and over again, the waitress told me she was going to take care of me, I loved her.
After satisfying our hunger we headed to Go Car Tours: Fun Filled & Exhilarating Tour of The Las Vegas Strip.
I was already loving Las Vegas and now it was like consolidating our relationship, a super fun activity, which involved driving, but I didn’t do it because I didn’t have a license.
Why do I need a license? Because you literally go out and roam the streets and I didn’t want to be in jail. Here the “cop will never go through another arrest” doesn’t apply. Here, it was worth it.
It was amazing, I didn’t want to get off, I made a sad sound when I saw that I was already finishing the ride. I give it 10 tires hahaha.
After literally repeating 29 times how much I liked the GoCars we went to Particle Ink at Luxor Hotel & Casino
This show combines elements of theatre, augmented reality technology and visual arts where the spectators were actively participating. They gave me something that simulated a spray can, without having any spray can, to draw a heart that ended up being something like a liver.
Afterwards, since it is not enough to eat a 500-meter slice of pizza, we got hungry and went to Superfrico, in The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, we ate their meatball, their salad, and their pasta. Three people shared them because the dishes were quite well served and we were very satisfied.
To finish off the first day, we had some drinks at The Ski Lodge; I had a watermelon one, yumm.
Sweet dreams.
Day 2
Good morning, I already feel like a gringa, I no longer remember how to say several things in Spanish. Let’s have breakfast!
We arrived at Brassiere B at Caesars Palace, I had salmon with egg, very delicious, again, filling and filling, some fries that would make your pants fall off; I ended up walking like Batman’s penguin, I recommend that you order little by little everywhere.
To walk off breakfast we went to Area 15.
A must see place! I’ll stick my tongue out at you if you don’t go, definitely a place that no one realistically could have thought of, I loved the store, the tattooed chickens, the egg-shaped sandals, the entrance to a tunnel through a fridge door, the lights, more tunnels; it’s incredible, you feel like you’re in another multiverse, we passed by the store Meow Wolf, There were so many amazing things to buy, I wanted it all.
We had some free time and were able to walk around the Strip.
Is there a place where there are more aftershocks than Tepito, in Mexico City? Yes.
Here you can walk from the Eiffel Tower to the Egyptian pyramids without leaving the air conditioning, there is even carpet. But be prepared to walk, because what seems to be “right there” is “right there”.
Eating again? It’s been like 15 minutes!
We arrived at Din Tai Fung at Aria Resort & Casino, some people ordered their noodles, I ordered pork dumplings, and for dessert other dumplings, but with Nutella, my favorites, ufff.
My dad finished the meal, so I’m going to finish the meal, even if it costs me my life lol. From Michelin starred restaurants, to places that are more affordable for your pocket, to fasting, there’s something for everyone. Craving lobster broth at 3am? No problem. Ice cream with edible gold and diamonds embedded in it? Of course.
We were told to prepare for the next activity, guess what it was…yes! Eating, at this point I felt my soul leave my body.
We arrived at a very top restaurant, Stanton Social Prime at Caesars Palace, I recommend that you take a bath, and if it’s not too much effort, put on some perfume.
We tried a cut of meat, delicious, marrow and the drinks were my favorites, I ordered one with red fruits that was delicious, literally the dishes came with a show included, I didn’t know if people were surprised by the presentation of the dishes or by me.
After that we went to the Wynn to see Awakening, there I saw Oswaldo Sánchez, I didn’t know who he was, I confused Kikin Fonseca with Conejo Pérez; in my defense, I’m not a soccer fan, but I liked them, good people.
I love Las Vegas, I want to live here!
Good night.
Day 3
One of the things that I found super well thought out and original was The Art Museum at Cosmopolitan Las Vegas, it’s like a psychedelic trip without having to visit a shaman. Get ready for an “acute light-itis” from an overdose of neon lights and visual effects.
You can draw your own animal and have it appear on the screen!
We had free time to go shopping, we went to Ross, the Outlet, you can always find great deals, I bought some $50 USD sneakers for $24 USD.
After that guess what else we did, it starts with C and ends with Eat, of free Jesus 
.
We went to dinner at Chyna Club at Fontainebleau Las Vegas, my favorite of all, wow the ribs, wow the rice, wow the meat, what a delicious place. I give it 10 oinks.
I feel like this is one of the moments I was most looking forward to during the entire visit, Mad Apple by Cirque di Soleil in New York-New York. A show that I don’t consider for kids; there was a lot of funny stand up, so if you don’t speak English, don’t worry, you can pretend you know what they’re talking about.
Day 4 I don’t want to go! I promise I’ll keep eating but we must never leave :(. Bye Vegas, I love you.
Conclusion
If you think Las Vegas is all about madness and debauchery, yes it is, and if you want to go out and take out the forbidden ones, Las Vegas has excellent nightclubs where you will feel like you have seen Kim Kardashian even though she is probably someone very tanned.
Did I gamble? The hotel has a casino, I personally never understood how to gamble, I didn’t even know that the drinks were free :(, I would sometimes press the buttons and sometimes I would win and then suddenly I would lose everything, hahaha failing as a gambler.
Did I marry the Arab? No, but if you decide that the person you’ve been dating for three weeks is the love of your life, different, unique, blah blah blah, there are chapels where you can get married, and if you get bored afterwards, you get divorced, don’t worry, they offer express divorces right next door.
I love Vegas! Go to Vegas! I’m officially a Vegatarian…plop! *Insert bad joke sound.
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